30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

I saw this today, and every single one resounded with me. Especially No. 1. It's the hardest to keep at heart. Walking away from a relationship that is not what you need it to be is SO hard. I did it finally with my ex. I hope I'll be smart enough to do it again if I need to.

#1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

Know your damn worth, people.

http://www.lifebuzz.com/just-stop/

Where I am now

Saw this meme today, and as they tend to do, it spoke to me. Who can relate?

Also, I have to laugh after yesterday's post about having the night to myself and feeling great about it. Not 20 minutes later, ex texted me that the girls wanted to spend the night with me.

So, not so much on the "me" time, but I was thrilled nonetheless to have a bonus night with my gals. And - because I've made a commitment to work out every day for the next month - I went to the gym after they went to bed.

Yay, me!

It's all me!

Well hello, there. I had a fun thought today. Neither kid has school and it's ex's day/night with them, so when I get off work, I can do WHATEVER I WANT.

Not that I'm ungrateful at all for my time with my girls! But I very rarely can get off work and not have something required of me.

I'm going to exercise. Then I'm going out with a friend. Then I'm going home and watching the Olympics.

It's all me, and spending time on ME is actually pretty great.

Happy Tuesday! Oh, and go USA!

The hurt

So true:

It will be a better year

I think I put a lot of pressure on myself last New Year's for 2013 to be the year. It was the year following the most disastrous one yet. I was sure 2013 would be when it all turned around.

Don't get me wrong, it WAS a better year.

The girls and I have made our peace with the situation and are doing quite well, although they have continuing underlying issues because their father has NOT made peace and can't figure out how to keep his nasty thoughts about me away from the girls.

Financially, sure - I'd love to be in my own house with the girls, and I even have dreams about it. I could move out from my mom's. Get an apartment. Rent a house. Buy a real cheap house.

But I want to do it right, and I don't want the girls to have to move a lot.

My goal remains to stay here until Little Bit is in kindergarten in fall 2015. I won't have her day care costs by then, and I should have continued to save enough money for a down payment on a house (I hope). To that end, if you're interested, I'm using this savings model, except I started at $12 in January and will go from there. I'm estimating a savings of $2,000 a year:

Personally, I've been dating a wonderful man, but we have a lot of challenges: getting over our own previous relationship issues...me having kids...

Nothing insurmountable, yet sometimes I feel like I'm working way harder than I should in this. If a man wants you in his life, he'll make the effort, right?

Anyway, so none of my parenting, financial or personal issues were magically solved in 2013. And there will be no magic this year, either.

But, I keep moving forward, appreciating what I have, happy for what I no longer have to endure, and hopeful that my heart's desires will fall into place.

Here's to a better year!

Know your worth

I stole this from Facebook today, text and all:

"Choose your relationships wisely. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships. Be with people who know your worth. You don’t need lots of friends to be happy; just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are. Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth."

I remember lying in bed wondering what I did to deserve to be in a relationship that was so wrong for me. What did I do to deserve this?

You know what I did? I didn't value myself enough to realize that being without someone is much better than being with someone who you're fundamentally unhappy with.

Glad I finally realized that. It took 35 years, but I finally realized my worth and grew the strength to move on.

Here's to choosing wisely!

Dealing with ex during the holidays - not much joy to this world

I haven't written anything in a long time. I guess that's the way blogs go sometimes.

Not a lot to report.

We're entering another holiday season still not officially divorced because my lawyer drags his foot like it's his job.

Holidays are hard, because ex doesn't understand our schedule that HE agreed to and fights back whenever he can. I'm sure he'll pull some stunt to screw up what we've already agreed to. It's just his way. He pays no attention until the moment is upon him, then he gets pissed and throws a fit cause he isn't getting his way.

Like a 2 year old. Good God.

But all this aside, I have to remember that nothing is as huge a deal after the fact as it is at the time. So a couple hours here and there on Christmas day that I thought I'd have with the girls that he somehow manages to ruin - it's all a thing of the past a couple months later.

The most important thing is to shield the kids from the "drama" and just allow them to have a great time with both parents.

And for my part when they're gone - I'll have a bunch of egg nog. :)

Happy (almost) holidays to whoever's reading out there. Good luck with your schedules, and enjoy the moments you have with your loved ones.