Will I ever know what's best? At this point, I feel I have to either choose what's best for my kids short-term or choose what's best for my finances long-term.
And I know the two are intertwined.
Choose an even more angry, hostile, deviant, manipulative, revengeful ex...or choose to take it up the a*s financially so he can remain calm and I can - at least for now - not have to give my kids up even more?
When do you ever know what's right?
I guess the right thing would have been to suck up my boring, unfulfilling,stressful relationship and just not get the divorce. That's what he wanted. Why couldn't I make it work? Why do I insist on being happy when I know that I would also be SO happy not being apart from my kids and not inflicting this lifelong parental separation on them?
I know it's too late to go back. As always - I wish I had a crystal ball. Tell me my kids will turn out to be happy adults who weren't ruined psychologically by their parents. Please. Then to me, this would be worth it despite the pain.
OR, what if I end up a poor, lonely single mom who never finds a fulfilling relationship AND has my kids away from me half of each week?
Clearly I need a pick-me-up today.