Friday, January 4, 2013

A new year

Wow, it's been a while since I posted. I think about it here and there, but SO much has gone on, and yet so little has been accomplished, that the thought of writing it down can feel daunting.

But, I will.

Our divorce is far from over, because ex keeps going back and forth on what he wants. First he wants to pay less money and let me have my say with the girls' custody. Then he throws a man-fit and decides that he's going to go after 50/50 custody because I haven't responded to his financial request fast enough. He has gone through that cycle twice so far.

I know he loves and misses his girls, but it is very clear (and I have the texts and emails to prove it) that his priority is finances. Because otherwise, what parent would try to bargain less time with their kids for more money?!?!

Anyway, I pray to all things holy that this will be resolved soon and that he and I can both live comfortably financially but MOST IMPORTANTLY that the best custody arrangement will be made for our very young children.

So, all of that aside, I want to say how proud I am of my girls for forging through this rough terrain. And last week, when their dad decided at the very last minute that he wanted them to spend an entire day and two nights with him, they handled it with such grace.

At that moment I thought, "Maybe this will work. Maybe I made the right decision for my happiness, and my girls WILL be OK."

Cause seriously, no longer being with my ex is the most freeing feeling of my entire life. And I know that sounds horrible. For all his faults, I still can't find a way to hate him. But I know in my heart that being with him was not good for me. At all.

So, it's a new year, and by god, I will embrace it and pull every ounce of good out of it. I heard a quote recently. I can't remember it verbatim, but the gist was:

You can't always choose your situation, but you can choose how you respond to it.

This is not how I pictured my life. But I can choose how I handle the cards I've been dealt.

I got one more piece of advice recently from a single father, and it's very simple: Just love your children. Love them, and they will be fine.

I want to believe that. Do you think it's true? Just love your kids (that love includes support, listening to them, etc.) and they will make it through divorced life OK?

I sure hope so. :)


  1. The single father gave you clear and sound advice...all you can do is love your children and be there for them in their time of need. You cannot do any more than you are doing already. You are putting them first. I hope and pray for a successful divorce for both you and your kids. I went through something similar with my child and his father, but now everything is much better. I wish the same for you.

    1. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. They help so much!