Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Being loved

Ahh, I just came across this quote and love it:

No matter how strong and independent we are, we need to be loved in order to live well.

So true.

Which leads me to an epiphany of sorts I've had this week: I'm in a unique position (well, maybe not so unique given the divorce rate in our country) of getting to start over and get it right this time. In other words, it finally clicked that I no longer have to be that woman who looks at other couples and is jealous that these women have a man in their life who loves them and proves their love often with little affirmations.

Notes...thoughtful comments and actions...tiny gifts...

I really want that in a relationship. It helps me feel loved to have tiny reminders. But it's also about showing your partner that you love and appreciate them, and not being afraid to let others know that. It's about being an advocate for your partner. It's about thinking about them in addition to yourself and wanting them to be happy.

My ex pretty much never did that. Maybe I didn't for him, either. Fact is - we weren't right for each other. Case closed. Moving on.

And part of moving on for me will be setting boundaries. I've lived my life wishing I could be with a man who loved me and never let me wonder for a moment if that loved had slipped away.

Divorce sucks. But one thing that is nice about being 30-something, single and a bit wiser is that I have the chance to say what I want in a relationship and make it count.

No more settling. No more doormat. No more wishing for something but not communicating my desires.

When I'm ready - I hope I can finally have that relationship I've always dreamed of. Not a fairytale. That doesn't exist. But I think a relationship of serious love does exist. And this time I won't settle for anything less.

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