Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Love your kids more than you hate your ex

I've never been able to talk sense into ex before, so I don't know why I think it would work now. But if there's only one point I could drive home, it's this:

It takes a real grown up to realize that you can't be bitter about the past. It takes a mature adult to see the bigger picture. It takes loving your children more than you hate your ex to stop the nastiness. When you talk badly about your ex in front of your children - or when you make everything about their other parent awkward and difficult for your kids - you are not harming your ex. You are harming your children.

His hostility toward me around the girls and even when I'm not around (they totally pick up on his hatred of me) makes me wants to just say, "Fine! Have everything you want! Just stop being so angry and taking it out on the kids."

If only money weren't an issue, this effing divorce would be final.

Nearly a year later, and I STILL don't know how to solve it:

Try my best to compromise with him financially (problem here is it leaves me out $20,000 in just three years), and therefore keep the kids' custody situation consistent...or go to court (a judge will force him to pay what he is supposed to), risk him getting 50 percent custody and turn him even more bitter.

If only he could see that his anger rubs off on the children.


  1. Wow extacly what im going through!!

  2. Good luck. Sorry you and your child(ren) are dealing with this too.

  3. Its such an awful situation... I remember it like it was yesterday. I feel for you... and my heart goes out to you... My ex was also bitter and angry... and sooo unbelievably innappropriate... I'm sure you read my dozens of posts titled... DONKEY... or better yet.. ASSHAT! He still does dumbass stuff but now that he is dating... he keeps his angry self in check... a bit more anyhow... gotta impress the ladies you know :)

  4. Yeah, I remember all your blogs about him. That's what struck me the most - how alike our exes seem to be. I see a lot of therapy in the future to help offset the B.S. that all of our girls have been exposed to.