Friday, February 8, 2013

Happiness. Sadness. And a possible deal.

Well, as I mentioned yesterday, life sometimes has a way of bringing you back down to Earth.

While my troubles with ex, a custody battle and financial choices aren't trivial, they seem so insignificant when you consider the real suffering going on elsewhere.

Here I am, blessed with (knock on wood) two healthy girls, while my friends' only child just died. She barely got to live. Two months? Really, that's all they got to have with her? It's so fucking unfair.

Clearly that devastating news has made my divorce issues take a back seat for the moment. But I can't ignore them altogether.

Why, you ask?

Because maybe, JUST MAYBE, we are close to having a deal. If this happens (and there are more things to agree on that may completely derail this), neither one of us win much. We are basically in a situation where we can't afford to divorce without us both taking a pretty big hit. Actually, I would take a big financial hit for a few years in lieu of a bigger hit (selling the house and risking 50/50 custody), plus my name would be stuck on "his" house until he can refinance and get me off the title/lien.

But perhaps most important: If he and I can come to an agreement together, his anger and general mood would improve tremendously. He'll always be bitter and hate me (I don't care), but I could perhaps see a day where we could co-parent for he benefit of our children.

Should I have to compromise so much just to help control his anger? No.

But I ask you, wouldn't you pay thousands if it meant your kid(s) could grow up in a non-adversarial (or less adversarial) environment?? I think that is worth gold.

To end this on an uplifting note, I find this meme to be something I need to remember more:

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