Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Creating good will vs. being right

Against probably my better judgment and that of pretty much everyone, I've agreed to buy two car seats for their daddy's car. I took our existing ones, along with their beds and pretty much everything else, when we moved.

And while I'm the custodial parent and I see no problem with this, he doesn't like it. I get that. He bought them brand-new, nice beds. At first I was like, "Fine, you bought beds. I'll buy new seats." But I have to buy them new beds soon, too.

So really, there's no reason I should have to buy him new car seats. Especially since I'm OCD and get the expensive Br*tax ones. It's going to cost me $400 - and they're on sale!

But, sometimes isn't it better to create good will with your actions than to "be right" about what's fair or not?


  1. He bought them beds for his house not yours.... I don't see how it is 'fair' or 'right' that you need to buy him car seats..to compensate .. But with that said I'm a hypocrit because I did many similar moves.... Mainly motivated by guilt for leaving him.... And because I did it for M..... I had to replace many super cute new outfits because I refused to tell her she couldn't wear whatever she wanted to daddy's .... It got expensive and he often sent her home in..... Play clothes to put it nice....at the end of the day you just need to feel comfortable with yourself... That was my motto.. So if u are good with it.. Then so be it:)

  2. Yeah, I refuse to let them wear certain clothes to his house, just because he's not as concerned about keeping them stain-free as I am. And that's fine...I just choose their clothes wisely.

    Car seats: Yeah, my lawyer would say it's ridiculous for me to buy them. A friend of mine who shares her kids 50/50 with her ex says if I took all their stuff, I may very well be made to replace half of it anyway.

    And in the end, I want quality car seats and less drama. It does suck, though, cause people tell me he's walking all over me. And in some ways, I let it happen. But I also know that his intentions are rarely as bad as people think.

  3. I'm thrilled to have found your blog! I am in the same boat, facing a divorce and having a toddler to take care of..It is hard, especially when I have to give him up for one or two nights at a time to his Dad. I started a blog about my journey but haven't gotten too far, you have inspired me to continue on and start blogging again.. Please keep it up! :)

    1. Oh, I'm glad you found me! I'm so new to this, but I think it's so important to have other people in similar situations to talk to. What's your blog? I'd love to read it. And thanks for commenting. I'm happy to be a resource in any way I can.