Well, this is me. I'm a mom of two beautiful girls, 2 and 4 years old. At some point in the near future, I'll be divorced. Sigh. Like everyone else, it seems. I'm a statistic.
I'm not sure what to think about that, really. In some ways, I'm not surprised. Why am I any different than any other typical American?
I married for the wrong reasons. I let my biological clock and lack of confidence lead me down a path I knew was wrong (not too wrong in the end, though - I would do it all over again for my girls).
But here I stand: I've made the hardest decision of my entire life. Their dad would have stayed with me and continued to fight. And that's valiant. But in the end, what are we fighting for? The girls, of course! But when the true basis of love and friendship were never there -- and years of emotional abuse and neglect remain in our hearts -- where does that leave you in the long run?
So I've decided, although I doubt my choice constantly, to do what I know is best for myself. And while that choice is so hard for my girls and for their dad (well, this is partially his choice too, he just doesn't want to admit it), I will do everything in my power to make the best choices possible for them. My girls, that is. Their dad is on his own. :)
I love them fiercely and wish I could take away all their hurt and uncertainty. But I suppose that even if I was happily married to their dad, I still couldn't protect them from everything. I will try my best, though.
Why am I writing this blog? Turns out I need an outlet for my thoughts in this whole process. So I can talk the ears off of my friends and family (which I'll continue to do), or I can get it down in writing. And if anyone has similar circumstances, I'd love to hear how they handle their little world.